The Young Person's Guide to the Chorus, part 2 of 4

THE ALTOS are the salt of the earth - in their opinion, at least. Altos are unassuming people, who would wear jeans to concerts if they were allowed to. Altos are in a unique position in the chorus in that they are unable to complain about having to sing either very high or very low, and they know that all the other sections think their parts are pitifully easy. But the altos know otherwise. They know that while the sopranos are screeching away on a high A, they are being forced to sing elaborate passages full of sharps and flats and tricks of rhythm, and nobody is noticing because the sopranos are singing too loud (and the basses usually are too). Altos get a deep, secret pleasure out of conspiring together to tune the sopranos flat. Altos have an innate distrust of tenors, because the tenors sing in almost the same range and think they sound better. They like the basses, and enjoy singing duets with them - the basses just sound like a rumble anyway, and it's the only time the altos can really be heard. Altos' other complaint is that there are always too many of them and so they never get to sing really loud.

The Young Person's Guide to the Chorus, part 1 of 4

You may have heard of The Young Person's Guide to the Orchestra. Well, this is The Young Person's Guide to the Chorus. I found this on a humor website, so I take no personal responsibility for the content!

THE SOPRANOS are the ones who sing the highest, and because of this they think they rule the world. They have longer hair, fancier jewelry, and swishier skirts than anyone else, and they consider themselves insulted if they are not allowed to go at least to a high F in every movement of any given piece. When they reach the high notes, they hold them for at least half as long as the composer and/or conductor requires, and then complain that their throats are killing them. Sopranos have varied attitudes toward the other sections of the chorus, though they consider all of them inferior. Altos are to sopranos rather like second violins to first violins - nice to harmonize with, but not really necessary. All sopranos have a secret feeling that the altos could drop out and the piece would sound essentially the same, and they don't understand why anybody would sing in that range in the first place - it's so boring. Tenors, on the other hand, can be very nice to have around; besides their flirtation possibilities (it is a well-known fact that sopranos never flirt with basses), sopranos like to sing duets with tenors because all the tenors are doing is working very hard to sing in a low-to-medium soprano range, while the sopranos are up there in the stratosphere showing off. To sopranos, basses are the scum of the earth - they sing too loud, are useless to tune to because they're down in that low, low range - and there has to be something wrong with anyone who sings in the bass clef, anyway.

Region workshop at ASU

ASU is sponsoring a free Region workshop on Saturday, September 29 from 10:00 AM to 1:00 PM. This is a great opportunity to secure some pitches or do a little "catching up" in preparation for the Region auditions on October 6th.

Did I mention it's free?

Clear your schedules and take advantage of this last-minute workshop.

Region preparation

For those of you auditioning for Region Choir on Oct. 6, be sure you are not allowing a single day go by that you don't practice your Region music. We're only three weeks away from the audition. Make the best use of your time.